Thursday, November 09, 2006

Obsessive Compulsion

i dont think there is any excuse i can make which will cover the length of time between this blog and my last blog, so i will apologise profusely now, and get it over and done with!

ive actually struggled finding stuff to blog about recently, which is, in a way, Lesson No. 1 - look for God more in your day.
He is always there, doing things for me, looking after me, and helping me get from a to b with as few mistakes as possible! im not sure i cooperate as much as i should - my mistakes tally always seems way too high! - but i should make more effort to be aware of and remember the little things, and praise God for them.

Lesson No. 2 is, i have to confess - pride. i didnt want to blog about anything....lightweight, so i havent been glorifying God in all things, big or little. but that stops now.

Lesson No. 3 is something ive been thinking about for a while, and which still isnt completely clear in my head, but which i found, well, amazing really.
watching tv is not really a past time i can indulge in at uni, not having a tv as such, so lots of my time is spent....well, faffing really, but faffing with God. i chat to God all the time - without really giving Him the chance to talk back, but im working on that one! - and its all about Him most of the time. i would love to take the credit for this, but it is really mainly dictated by circumstances!
i cant remember exactly what it was that led up to this idea, but i found myself thinking - as a result of this enforced non-secular lifestyle - 'hang on a minute, you dont want to get obsessive about this [God stuff]'. when my lightening-fast brain finally realised what i had just thought, i stopped short. why? because i suddenly realised in my heart what i had 'known' for ages in my head, that God is the only person we can be obsessed with! He is the only person we can be all-consumed with - in our thoughts and actions. that was really a breakthrough moment for me - realising that i can be totally consumed by God; that i can think about nothing else, live for nothing else, and thats fine! not only is it fine, it's also good! wow!
we're all aware that obsessing about anything other than God is absolutely totally wrong - and ive been guilty of it several times - but we have to be so careful not to transfer that mindset onto our relationship with God as well. God is the only person we can safely obsess about, without worrying if we're out of balance somewhere. its actually not that easy, for me at least, because i know ive been guilty in the past of obsessing about things, so in a sense im almost afraid to abandon myself so completely to one person - but thats crazy when it comes to God, because the more i obsess about God, the greater He becomes and the closer i get to Him! its still hard to get out of that cautious mindset though, which is why im so excited about this breakthrough thought - ive realised that there is one obsession that i can have, and thats God.
i still have to tell myself to keep going and keep pressing in, and to remind myself that it is ok, and good, to be obsessed with God, but i am on my way towards getting there!

and its also cool to think that by loving God more, i get more revelation of His love, which can then be demonstrated to my friends and be expressed in actions outwardly towards other people - so in effect by obsessing with God, His love will force you to look outward towards other people and love them, because this is what we will see our Heavenly Father doing. im not saying im there, believe me, but its pretty cool to think that thats where we're headed!

so thank you Lord for the small things, and for being so obsessed and compelled by You that we see You in everything, and are empowered by Your love to reach out to everyone around us. i was reading this through i just quickly asked God if it really was ok to be obsessed with Him - theres my doubts playing up again - and do you know He said?
why would i think about anything else?


  • HOO
    and also

    By Blogger FloydTheBarber, at 10:12 PM  

  • hey hun, a quality post as per. thanks for sharing that, something ive been thinking about too.

    Love u lots and see you soon-anna needs some mandy time! XXXxX

    By Blogger Anna, at 10:50 PM  

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